Click That Button
by Trevor Turk
CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON… CLICK THAT BUTTON….
Update: For 2 days only… CLICK for Obama! click that button »
Dear Sir,
Mr. Arthur scooted his chair over to my desk. I just thought it was one of those "wtf are you doing man cause i can't effing handle dealing with hunt groups all day and I need some 'release' if you know what I mean." It happens from time to time.
I digress.
Instead of that comment, he told me of this website, which he said was created with me in mind. I know it wasn't, but it made me feel good anyways.
I type in what he tells me, clickthatbutton.com.
My eyes grew big, before me was a bright shiny orange object that looked like it moved in a downward fashion then possibly came back up to its original starting point.
I was elated when my investigation of this mechanism were true, and I "clicked" that button.
I clicked it again.
And again.
Many many clicks were made. I was like a child on Christmas, but not one of those sucky Christmas's where you get crappy presents or no presents or you're forgotten at the JFK airport while your hooker of a mom tries to find your next dad.
No, it was a good Christmas… and I clicked away.
I spread my elatedness with my co-workers via the messages of the tubes.
They too were excited for this new found glory our friend Arthur has provided us.
Then… disaster. Others did not appreciate the spirit of the website. They thought it was some type of game. Contests ensued, who could click the most, who could break their finger the fastest, who could, *gasp* cheat the system.
I could not handle it, I had to take my finger off the mouse. The pressure and lack of spirit was too much to go on.
It is with this melancholy feelings that I write to you requesting a few changes to your website.
1.) Do not let the return key register as a click.
The return key is not a click, its a key push, different than a mouse click and violating the spirit of "click" that button.
2.) Do not let the return key register as a click.
Soon after coworkers realized the return key counted as a click, they realized that holding the return key also counted as a click. And thus, a single key push was no longer a single point of awardedness in the magical number growing higher, it was merely a means to an ends. The spirit of the webpage had been sucked out by the great vacuum that is "fascination of a number growing rapidly."
3.) Lastly, I enjoy the website, but sadly, I do have to work from time to time. I noticed that when I closed my tab of the website (accident I swear, I'd never close this website again), the website lost track of the clicks I had previously registered. Perhaps a cookie is in order, or some other such means?
Thank you, and the gorilla man. Artie tells me you're both nice chaps and I may have possibly met one or two or more of you on various occasions. I'm sure it was a glorious time for you to meet me too if such event took place.
Thank you for your time,
and may we always be clicking.
- Jeff
WTF????